One factor that I believe influences whether parents will
get a divorce or stay together are the children. Seriously! Who wants their
child/children to grow up in a broken home? Who wants their children to grow up
going from house to house or having to have separate holidays and not be with
both parents during things like birthdays or Christmas? I honestly believe that no parent wants this
to happen to their child.
The bigger question in situations like this is what would be
best for the child?
Is it more important for children to stay in a home where it
is clear that their parents aren’t getting along or is it better that these
children live in a sort of broken home and their parents can work together to
make sure that the child/children are living the best life that they can give
to their children as a team. It doesn’t take parents living together for parents
to work together and provide emotional, financial, and other types of support
for children. But when you think about this you are also thinking about the
relationship between the parents. When you have parents that can still get
along and are still friends it is easier to make this type of “family” still
work when parents both realize that even though they are not compatible and
can’t make things work out between themselves they can still make the family
work out.
The question I ask again, what would be better for the
children?
I believe the best way to make this situation work is to
make sure everybody in the family has a clear understanding on what is going
on. It may be hard to tell your children especially the younger ones that may
not really understand what is going on, but the more information is shared the
easier it will be on the children. When you spring this kind of news on the
children right before the divorce is going to happens, it makes the children
worried and frightened on what is going to come next.
So what do you think? What situation is better for the
children? Stay together or part ways and divorce?
I think that a lot of parents will stay together until the children are able to leave the house. I have seen some of my friends parents separate when the kids went to college. I think that in some cases it is important for the parents to stay together and raise their children. In other cases when the parents can't get along it is important to make sure the children aren't suffering through it. Parents need to make themselves happy and work to give their children the best environment that is available. I think that if parents are able to show their children they love them, the parents should be able to make that choice to separate. They can still do things as a family but if the relationship wasn't working it is important to find something better.
ReplyDeleteThe concept of what is best for the children is usually sublimated by the parents concern for their own situation. Sometimes it is best for the children if divorce happens if the parents staying together continue to cause a hostile environment. Most often the children are collateral damage. If you read a divorce decree, custody, visitation rights and child support are mentioned, but there are no provisions addressing the actual emotional condition of the child after the divorce.
DeleteI think that if the parents of the child were to stay together they would probably have a lot of fights/argumenets and often times this affects the child. The children start to blame themselves or feel like they are maybe the cause of the fight or argument. I think if the two parents do not get along a divorce would be better for them and the children. It is tough to tell a child about divorce and how he wont grow up in the same house with both parents living together but its just something they have to do in order to give the child a normal life. I agree that it must be extremely hard to tell your children about divorce and try to put it in a way where they understand. Often times children blame themselves for the divorce and it can really put a lot of stress on the child.
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